Apologies!!!

First things first I'm sorry everyone. I've not been around much to update the site had quite a lot things going on. One of them being a totally new design to the site ready for when I decide to take the plunge and move us over to a dedicated server. Secondly I've been working on a little bit of graphic design trying to created a fantastic header for the site, something that lets everybody know who we are and something they'll remember us by.

I know a lot of you are wondering when the next post will be on and right now....I'm not sure exactly. Not only am I doing these things but I've also got a lot of stuff going on in the real world which I need to sort. A career change being one of them!!


I'm hoping that in this next week or so we'll have lots more posts for you all to have a look at and hopefully some massive news concerning the future of our little piece of the web!!!

Thanks for understanding you guys!

Vader Out!

The Fighter fighting the good fight??? Rocky did it better!!!!

So this past week, I watched The Fighter. I'm not sure what I was expecting if I'm totally honest with you. A Rocky Redux maybe?

Ok, it might not have the same emotional kick that you got the first time you sat through Rocky, you might not be able to connect with the character of Micky Ward, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try to watch it.

Let me be straight with you though, see I know what you guys want don't I? The best thing about this and I mean THE BEST THING is yet again, Batman himself, Christian Bale. This guy is fast becoming our generations Robert De Niro (as long as he doesn't do anything like Meet The Parents or Rocky And Bullwinkle of course!). The guy totally embodies every character he plays. For this he plays Micky's half brother, Dicky Eklund, a former boxer living off the fame of one fight and a major smack addict! Of course nobody plays a troubled soul as well as Mr.Bale. The guy lost some serious weight to take this role and with that he took on Dicky's body and his nuances. The nervous twitches, the slight slurring of speech, all signs of a man on the top of his game and a serious (mind the pun kids!!) contender for the Oscar this year!!!!

The story follows Micky, a boxer who's more of a jobber, the guy promoters hire so they can give their fighter an easy win. It follows the tribulations of having someone you love ruin almost everything for you at every step, leaving that shadow and seeing what can happen when you work hard. Of course this is a true story so you know what's going to happen (well if you have any brains and decide to have a look at the background of Micky and Dicky), I won't say it's fun getting there with the brothers, more interesting if anything. If you want to watch one of the worlds best actors, doing what he does best whilst chewing every piece of scenery available to him, this is the film for you.

A quick look at the trailer and we'll get onto the return of everyones favourite part of the site......

So, Vader Wink time..... As I said earlier this isn't Rocky, and I feel some people might have trouble sitting through another boxing film based on a loser doing something with their lives. I will be honest with you guys as I always am, if it wasn't for Bale, I wouldn't have bothered with this, have a read on wikipedia and google about Micky Ward. But and this is a big but, if you want to give it a go, do it!!! I'm pretty sure you'll find something you'll enjoy. As for Vader Winks I'm sorry but this one only gets....


2.5 VADER WINKS!!!!!

Yet another downbeat review there, it's just a film I couldn't personally connect with very well, whether it's the pushing of it down my throat and people constantly telling me it's amazing, I'm not sure. All I know is that if I want to watch a film about a boxers redemption I'll watch Rocky and if I want to watch a sports film about climbing back to the top and doing something with yourself I'll sit through The Wrestler, now that is a great film.

Got something very special coming up next for you all, if you're based in the UK, you're gonna love it.....I mean we all love FREE things don't we?!??!?! 

Michael Cera.....A Legendary Geek? Nah, He's Just Francois....Or Scott......Or Evan.......

Last night after writing the Simpsons article, I put on a film I've never really been too bothered about seeing, Youth In Revolt......

I'll agree with you, poster doesn't do much for you no? Trust me, this isn't a bad little film, if anything it solidifies Michael Cera as the "King Of Geeks". I mean the guy plays them so well, in fact in almost every film he's been in, he is one. Could this be how he is in real life???

WAIT....If you want to find that out go onto one of those shitty gossip sites that delve into every little detail about someone's life, I'm betting they'll have what you're looking for!!

Back to why we're really here though, the film. It's a bit of a bonkers one if I'm totally honest with you all. Cera plays Nick Twisp, the perennial loser, Mum's shacked up with a total loser who hates your guts, Dad has a sexy little blonde on his arm and you're best friend is a total nutjob and a stalker to boot. After the family escapes to a trailer park for a few days, Nick falls in love with a girl who happens to be seeing someone already. Nick decides he must have this girl and decides that by being the bad guy, he'll get her, that's where Francois comes in, he's Nick's "bad side". Everything from there on in, is about the different things Nick (with a little help from Francois) will do to prove how much he needs this girl, or to sleep with her whatever!

Have a quick scan at the trailer see what you make of it.........

There is more to this post though other than the winks tonigh, as after watching the film, I realised that, of what I've seen of Cera, I'm quite a fan. He always plays that guy that you know at one point in your life, you have been.
Whether it's being madly in love with someone for years and feel now is the time to do something about it by trying to become the cool guy, or maybe battling some ex's or even getting someone pregnant when you're a little bit too young......ok maybe not the majority of readers but you get my drift!!! Let's have a delve into the archive (or my DVD collection ya know!) and see what we can come up with!

Ahh yes Superbad, the film that brought the guy to my attention. Well, not really, as McLovin and Seth Rogen walk away with this one. But you can't help but feel drawn towards Cera as Evan as we've all at one point in our lives been there. You'll do anything to impress the girl (or boy, cos ya see here at TVMF we're all about the equal opportunities!) of your dreams even trying to get booze when you're underage, or gatecrashing a party to steal theirs! Or maybe that was just me??

The more you watch this though, the more you noticed that Evan is the fabric keeping the friends together as they're all preparing to go to college. It's a cracking film that will have you laughing and cringing at in equal parts. Another positive apart from the one's already mentioned is Emma Stone.

Oh man, I love this girl! Not only is she stunning, she's seriously a funny actress. Check out Easy A if you get a chance!! And can I add she's also going to be in the new Spider-Man movie? I'm there!!!


A trailer? You're kidding right? It adds like 35 seconds onto my writing of these things!!! You'll what?? Hahahaha yeah right as if you'd do that to me!! I bet you don't......Hello? Hello?? Where'd you go??
OK OK I'LL GIVE YOU A FREAKIN' TRAILER JESUS MAN...............

Ahem......anyways the next film we'll take a quick look at is Juno.

What I will say about this one, is that I'm not a fan, not at all! I can't explain why, I'm just not! I don't find it funny in the slightest, I want to punch almost everyone involved with this one as they seriously get on my nerves!! I've tried watching this about 5 times and every time I fall asleep midway through, It's boring as sin!!! The saving grace? Yep you've got it Michael Cera!!! He brings across the awkwardness of someone who's just got somebody pregnant and isn't able to deal with the consequences pretty well. The rest of the film? I'm not even going to carry on speaking about it, here's your trailer though......

And I've gotta ask, how creepy are Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman in this? WEIRDOOOOOOOSSSSSSS

The last film we're going to look at is a new personal favourite of mine Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World...

Oh fuck, where the hell do I start with this?? It's the craziest, most bonkers film I've ever seen, I LOVE IT!!!!! Based upon a comic book (oh look here we go again!) it follows Scott Pilgrim, a bass guitarist in a band called "Sex Bob-omb" ( the first of countless computer game references you're gonna see in this one!), who whilst seeing a schoolgirl spots a mysterious girl called Ramona Flowers. In order to be with Ramona, Scott has to battle "The League Of Evil Exes", Ramona's seven ex boyfriends (ok well one is a woman, if ya get me drift haha), if he defeats them, he gets the girl. The only other thing is these battles happen when Scott isn't expecting them and whilst he's also dealing with getting his band through the battle of the bands competition they're currently in! The video game references are 10 to the penny in this one, even the beginning with the Universal logo gets all 8-bit on us! This is one truly brilliant film, that trust me on this will become a cult classic in years to come, just jump on the bandwagon ASAP!!!!!

Now this is my pleasure to bring you the trailer for this one, so no fighting!

I would say rush to Blockbuster to get your hands on this, but don't as it's a shit place to go! Don't even get me started on the dicks who work in my local one as they don't have a clue about anything at all in that place, so much so I'm actually writing an email to the HQ to moan about them as I'm writing this! But enough of my disgruntled customer experiences!  This is about the ultimate geek on the block so to Mr. Michael Cera, keep on being awkward and keep making me feel better about myself, it's what you're getting paid to do after all!

We salute you!

SAVE ME JEBUS!!!!!

Hi diddly ho there Vaderino's! Well unless you're really dumb, you'll already from the first sentence know what tonight's article is about!

First thing though, a little insight into what I've been doing the last few days, hence why you haven't had a regular dose of Vader. As I mentioned in the previous article, I've been researching into moving us over to a dedicated server, so we can really start making a go at this. A few ideas have come and they will be sorted in due course. The next is/was the creation of a logo/header for the site so it's not just the basic, boring font as you log on. Well so far it isn't coming together like I would have hoped, so this is a call to arms of all my Vaderites,

Is there anybody out there who thinks they are up for making a proper kick ass logo for the site? Email me on the address at the bottom of the page so we can get the ball rolling.

The other thing that I've been doing is setting up a network of "Vader Files" sites, I know spreading myself thin as this isn't getting that much attention from myself at the minute, but I feel by getting them set up we can interlink them for example, right now I'm about to write about The Simpsons Movie, but surely The Simpsons themselves deserve an article to themselves? So that's why the network is being established by my trusted group of web monkeys (OK just myself and the dog, and she can't type too well see, ipdfhidfhipdsfhipdfnkndg, told you didn't I? So it's just me setting them up, arrival date? God knows!).

At the end of the day though, at the moment, it's all about The Vader Movie Files as this is why you all keep coming back for more. Last thing before we get down to it, I am looking for a few contributions, either for here or the other sites I'm setting up, If you feel you can write a good, funny article which could be roughly around 600-700 words with some pictures involved, give me a shout, again on the address at the bottom.

Anyways, Ladies and Gentleman I present to you......

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE

Oh yes, after like 18 seasons and 400-odd episodes, they finally decided to give us all what we wanted. And what did we get from a film we'd been waiting close on 20 years to finally see......meh!

Yes guys a large "meh". Not that it's bad, it's just "meh". I don't know how many times I'll be typing "meh", but it's the only way I can sum up the feeling I had as I left the screen, just "meh"! I'm a huge Simpsons fan (not in the tattoo of Marge naked on my forearm kind!) so for this to be just "meh" leaves a slight sour taste in the mouth. For years I longed to see what caper Homer could bring upon the family whilst leaving the restrictions of network television behind as well as the shackles. What did we get?

Yes guy's that is a picture of Bart Simpson's cock! (I had to google this to find you a picture as proof, whatever you do, DO NOT GOOGLE BART SIMPSONS PENIS, you will have a heart attack!!!)

20 years and all you could give me was a scene involving Bart's dick dangling down?? Jesus guys, run out of ideas already?!? Although it did provide a funny set piece in the film and also gave us a fantastic poster.....

Now, I don't want you all thinking I'm hating on the film as I feel it failed my childhood, it didn't, it just wasn't what I wanted. I mean why have the villain of the piece being a government agency when you have 2 of the most dastardly animated men since, well Dick Dastardly, Sideshow Bob and Mr. Burns?! Why have a retread through Homer letting the family down yet again, Himself and Marge splitting up and reconciling at the end once Homer has redeemed himself? It isn't all bad points though, there are some truly hilarious things going on, namely Homer and his pet pig, anything involving this suinae (yes that's right 'cos I googled it!) will leave you in stitches.

Maybe I am being a bit harsh as it quite a funny film, you just can't help but feel like the film makers have let you down. See what you've had me doing, warbling on about it without giving you, your beloved trailer and slight synopsis, what kind of readers are you?!?

So there you have it, the trailer. Funny I agree, do you want to know why Homer has a noose around his neck with the townsfolk ready to finish him off? Well......After killing Greenday due to the state of the town, everyone decides to clean up the place and, yes you guessed it, Homer ruins that. This leads to the family being on the run as Springfield is encased inside a giant dome (hmmm didn't Stephen King write about a town underneath a dome??). That's it, I mean obviously I've not told you everything as I don't deal with spoilers here as you know, but that's the general gist of everything.

Ok so maybe I've made it sound dull, it's not that bad, but as I said it's not that good either. But hey if you've always wanted to see Bart naked, well congratulations you pervert, you've got your wish here!!!!

But now, let's excentuate the positives of this piece as I really don't like leaving you on a negative.

1. IT'S THE SIMPSONS GODDAMN IT!!!! No matter how hard you try to stay mad at these guys you can't! There's a reason they've been on TV for over 20 years.
2. SPIDER-PIG. I dare you not to sit there and piss yourselves. Easily the best thing in the movie.

Yes, it might not be what you wanted, it may be a little "meh", but at the end of the day, you're still going to sit there, you're still going to laugh and you're still going to try as hard as you can to find something that works for you.

It's that time again though, yes I may have bashed the film for the past x amount of words but you can't keep a good dog down so I'm going to give The Simpsons Movie...

3.5 WINKS!!!!


Maybe not the bad rating you were expecting, but I have seen it like 50 times so I've learnt to love it more and more with every viewing, I just feel if you're a fan and haven't seen this yet you're going to feel slightly let down after all it is all slightly, "meh"


As for finding something that works for you..........

VADER BONUS............................................................................


What I will give you is this though, the reward of one of the greatest teaser trailers ever! This bad boy came out of the blue, not many people actually knew there was a Simpsons movie being released, let alone being made! As it starts, you actually believe it could be for a bran new Superman animation, by the end you're in no doubt it's going to be a fun ride regardless of what's going on. The trailer actually made you believe that they'd do a good job worthy of The Simpsons. Let's just hope if they finally get around to the sequel, it'll be what we, as fans, really deserve to see.

Hope this one hasn't been too much of a downer for you guys, promise normal service will resume ASAP. Let me know what you think in the comments section below.

Ooooh What've I been Doing......

My my my, I have been a busy Vader!! For your perusal, A new design of sorts (new fonts etc), I've added an RSS feed so you can have every new post delivered to your browser, A twitter update thingy so it saves me time every time I write a new post, a donate button if you'd really like to give me 50p and the ultimate thing for the night.....

A EMAIL SUBSCRIPTION BUTTON!!!!

GASP.... I can hear you now but yes it's true, you can have a daily digest of all of our new posts delivered directly to your inbox....

Exciting no???

Anyways thought I'd share it with you guys, especially after our BEST day EVER!!!! over 100 individual hits in just under 24 which, I have to say, is pretty frickin' amazing!!! Thanks again people!!!

I will give you a quick update though, chances are tomorrow (or today if you want to be a funny guy seen as it's 1.30am here!!!) there won't be any posts, you never know I might sneak one in, but I've got a few emails to send out regarding the site and hosting services and I'm getting on to create a logo for us and possibly our own, sexy, header!!!!

MMMMMMMMM....

Ahem, so yeah, apologies if your expecting something new tomorrow, but I'm hoping that within the next 48 hours we should have some new things for you to drool over and possibly this big news I'm waiting on.

Have a great day or days depending of when I'm next here for you all and keep on laughing at the drivle I'm posting, I know at least one of you are due to my first piece of fan mail....ooooh

Here's the addy if you're just toooooooooo lazy to scroll down to the bottom of the page

TheVaderMovieFiles@gmail.com

Look forward to speaking to you guys, as I promise I'll reply to anyone and everyone!!

A plea...Well a request....Ok, I'm telling YA!!!!!!

Afternoon Vaderites, so with the last post of Red Skull's reveal, I've had my biggest day so far!!! Thanks to everyone who's had a look today, especially you guys in the U.S, Canada and even Australia!!! God knows how we've had such a large reach in just over 14 hours but I thank you anyway!

What I am asking though, is that if you're going to view and like what you see, please vote for me in the blogger of the year awards, and leave me a comment, let me know what you like or don't!

Also and this is the final thing I'll be asking you for today, Spread the word!! Join the facebook page, request to be my friend on there, follow me on twitter, tattoo our address on your body....ANYTHING!!!

Everything you need is on the right hand side of the page so come on do your service, without sounding like a £20 hooker, but the more views we get, the more articles I can write!!

There is a few articles just being fine tuned ready to be posted including the second part of our look at crap comic book films and the promised failed comic book scripts one as well! Hopefully you guys will enjoy them as much as you have enjoyed our previous ones!!

Anyways have a great evening, in case I don't get back on to get them up and posted!


VADER OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.....*cough*.......TTTTTTTTT......*splutter*.......TTTTTTTTTT

I'm not easily scared but.......

I'm going to let you into a little secret ok? I'm scared of one thing and one thing only.

And no it isn't cute lil Regan here.

And it isn't this colourful freak either (I will admit I can't watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because of him, well I could but I choose not too!)

No my only fear is much stronger than the both of them put together. I have one large collection of DVD's and I'm proud to say only 3 of them have this "thing" that causes cold sweats and sleepless nights.

My problem.....I forgot which one's they were and about 45 mins ago I popped the disc into my player and sat back to enjoy Spider-Man. And then it hit me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, a cold sweat came upon my brow....I shit myself in fact (not literally before any of you ask!). The cause of this....and remember to turn your speakers up full whack.





SEE!!!!! I can't even bare to watch that again, today was the first time in around 4 years I've sat through it, and I'll admit it, I'm proud I didn't grab a pillow and sob uncontrollably into it!

I can hear you all laughing now, I can feel it!! It all comes from being a kid and going to the flicks with my Gran. In fact let's go all misty eyed and have a lovely blue haze cover us as Wayne and Garth come across the screen letting us know we're travelling back to how things were........

DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO.

I was 6. Every Saturday morning without fail me and my Gran would go shopping at like 7am then be at the cinema for 10am to catch that weeks newest kids release. I'll be hones I can't remember which film it was, but I'm sat there with the sweets we'd bought from the market, me with my sports mixture, her with her bloody toasted teacake coconut thingy's.....anyways, we'd bought a small popcorn and I'm sat there checking out the trailers. The screen fades to black as the final runway lights go out to get us ready for the feature presentation and then it happened.

The certification screen came on.......

Nothing I know so I still sat there all excited and then it started, THAT video. The lightning strikes, the rocks come into view as the helicopter comes overhead and then the worst moment, when in a quite empty cinema and the stereo system pumped up to full, the guitar was struck.

BEEEEEEEEEEEIEENENEINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Well the sports mixture went 15ft into the air and I screamed. Not just a yelp but a full blown scream.

I felt the tears start to roll down my cheeks as the most chilling sound came into my ears, that little chinking noise to show how amazing the stereo was in the screen. It surround my head in an instant and sent me flying out of my seat, down the aisle and out of the door past the usher who was stood taking tickets.

Yes keep laughing, it's what I'm here to do! Anyways I was finally tempted back into my seat by my Gran who'd, after consoling me, bought me a HUGE tub of popcorn. But the scars remained.....

Even at the age of 14 when me and my mates used to think we were cool getting into 15 films and the occasional 18, when that came on before the film, I used to ram my fingers as deep into my ear as they could go much to the amusement of my friends. The only problem then as sitting eating popcorn whilst not trying to get earwax on it! (Ok I made that last bit up, I washed my hands first!)

Well again, this one's a little bit different from my usual articles, but I'm hoping you all still enjoyed a little insight into my movie going life. Next up will be my list of the 10 greatest horror films of all time!

Oh and catch you on the flipside Vaderites! (haha you even have a nickname from me now!!!)

Comic. Book. Film?? Put it back on the rack and walk away.....Slowly...PART 1

You'll probably know (I'm pretty sure I told you), I'm a massive fan of Comic Book films. What can I say? I haven't grown up yet, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be starting soon. There's many classics out there (Superman, Spider-Man, X Men), but there's a hell of a lot of shit ones, and guess what kiddies we're talking about them right now!!!

SPAWN

Oh Jesus, where to begin, I know, the beginning!! So, Spawn was created by Todd McFarlane back in 1992 after McFarlane left Marvel to set up his own comic. McFarlane helped to, or created as to who you listen too, Venom. Spawn was once upon a time Al Simmons, a CIA operative murdered by his boss, and whilst in Hell offered the chance to gain vengeance by leading the devils army of Hellspawn...still with me? Blah Blah Blah, anyways, due to this creation McFarlane has made a great living by creating such a fantastic character, so primed for a fantastic movie adaptation yes??

BUZZZZZZZZZ WRONG

Oh my lord where do I start? The dodgy CGI? The terrible acting? The seriously shameful dialogue? Let's study all 3 shall we, after you burn your eyes with the trailer of course......


Man, where you want me to start? CGI it is then. Look how Spawn falls through that green...green.....yeah I dunno either. Stand in awe as those chains thrust at the screen like a horny 17 year old after his first alcohol session. And the cape.....oh god the cape. This might not be anything to do with the CGI but also check out the shitty religious undertone with Spawn seemingly crucified upon a gate....

Then there's the acting, damn Martin Sheen, it took him years to regain any cred after some of his film choices, this being one of his best, ok sorry worst choices and he's been in some shit! And that Clown....my god it's....it's JOHN LEGUIZAMO. You know John Leguizamo don't you? No?? Are you sure?? Come on, this guy...

Recognize him? He was in Romeo and Juliet? Ohhhhhh wait a minute you'll know him cos his annoying voice is in the Ice Age trilogy. Oh and he was in The Happening as well, you guys must remember that one, you know with the killer plants? No? ahh well he plays this guy in Spawn.

MMM sexy huh?

Ahh yes my favourite part of this whole thing, the dialogue. how can you not adore a film with such tasty lines as, are you ready for this?? Honestly??

“Get away from me, you fudge packing midget!”

I rest my case your honour, I rest my case.....

 BATMAN AND ROBIN

Ahh Batman, trusty Dark Knight can you do no wrong? Oh wait, yes you can with this pile of steaming crap. The film looked promising, what with Robin being introduced pretty well in the previous installment and Arnie coming in as a villain, what is there not to love? Well this for starters

Where's the air of mystery? Let's just throw out that Alicia Silverstone becomes Batgirl. Let's show Arnie as Freeze and Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy.....Marketing Guys 1 General Public 0!!! Oh and there is the fact it's acted like this.




I'll be honest, there isn't much more that I can add to this....oh yes I can.....


They put NIPPLES on the batsuit, yes NIPPLES!!!!!!!!

That's all for tonight, but don't worry this will be finished soon enough....

In the way of the comic book films.....

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Dinner For Schmucks? Tea For Dicks more like.......

I did it

I sat through yet another Steve Carell film that I just didn't find as hilarious as people like to make out. Maybe it's just me but I don't get it....I'll admit I don't mind watching The Office with him in it but almost everything else....no thanks! As always guys and gals here's the trailer.


Don't worry, I'm not gonna spend the next 200 words (nobody count please!!!) bashing him as sometimes, for example Anchorman, they guy is funny but the majority of the time....UGHHHH.

Let's get onto why we are here though, the film itself. Yes, as I said, I didn't find it piss yourself wet through whilst screaming like a hyena hilarious, but there are certain parts that had me laughing. Anything involving stuffed animals will get a titter out of you, that I promise. Another saving grace of the film is Paul Rudd. This guy has constantly put in great performances in everything from his stint in "Friends", through to "I Love You, Man". He's the everyman character that you just can't seem to not like. Even in this where you feel you really shouldn't like him, his personality shines through and by the end, you'll be on his side.

The bad parts....man David Walliams. Little Britain isn't too bad but jeez everytime he was on screen I wanted to smack living bejesus outta him! And Lucy Punch........damn, the name suits her. How anyone could cast her in the role of a sex mad "hottie" I would never know. Look at her.....

Her name suggests that somebody probably did punch her, quite a few times.

Ok,Ok, I know, a tiny bit harsh as she's not that bad an actress and I guess on second look at her in the film....

She's not that bad, and if the picture she sends in the film is hers, well I'll take it all back!!!!

Anyways everyone's favourite part of the blog, the wink time. Like I've said not a great film, but not a bad one either so on that note I'll award "Dinner For Schmucks"

2 VADER WINKS!!!!

And one of those is just because Paul Rudd is involved!

Afternoon Ladies and Gents....

Ok, ok, ok I know and I apologise, It's been ages since I last posted. I wish I had an excuse for you and I do, but it's been a hard time for myself and my family this past 2 weeks but everything is great again, so you know what this means........

MORE POSTS!!!!!



Yes, I hear you cry in excitement, trust me I've got some great and some seriously terrible films to tell you all about, and I'm hoping, some BIG BIG news as well.


I'd also like to thank everybody who's been spreading the word about the site, I mean when I last did anything on here we were on about 120 views and somehow we've shot up to almost 300, with views coming from as far away as Singapore and Serbia, so seriously Thanks!!!

So as from today, we're back in the swing of things and there will be a few posts tonight that I promise you!

Is it Art or Marketing? Either way it ROCKS!

So I'm sat here putting off sitting through "Dinner For Schmucks" and after posting the previous article and noticing how cool the poster for Buried is, it hit me....

No, not the light fitting from above but an idea. An idea to show you what I consider to be some of the greatest posters from the modern era. Maybe this is the start of me moving slowly away from the opinionated drivel I've been posting the last 5 days, who knows but let's try it. I mean, it could become a regular thing? Who knows? So with that let me present to you

VADER'S FAVOURITE POSTERS OF THE PAST 11 YEARS!!!!! PART I


To start with let's have a look at the poster from our previous post.

BURIED

Now, on first glances this is a complete throwback to something from the 60's. As noted in the previous article, I called it very "Hitcockian" and I'm right. Based on the design of the "Vertigo" poster by the poster creating God known as Saul Bass, this is as simplistic as it can come (also like the film really!). It get's to the point, it gives you an idea what the film will be about and gets you interested. The tagline, "Paul Conroy Isn't Ready To Die" fills you with dread, indicating that this is going to be a race against time.

Second on our list is also a poster from a previous article....

CLOVERFIELD

Well doesn't this one just get you interested right away. The initial thing you're drawn too is the fact that the Statue Of Liberty is missing her head! Anyone who's seen the original teaser trailer(Click Here for the trailer with my original review) will know the grisly end bestowed upon her. Bouncing down the street without a care in the world..... Also take a look at the ripple effect in the water, what could have caused that? Whatever it is, it's caused a huge hole in the skyline of New York. Many people were outraged with this poster as well as the film with the comparisons to 9/11 which personally is a bit silly, I mean what else could a monster do when attacking a city? Tip-Toe through? And check that tagline out, "Some Thing Has Found Us", well from the look of it I'd say yep it has, and it aint happy!! As for what it is, join the rest of us.....

THE DARK KNIGHT

The thing is though, Christopher Nolan ruined us by producing not just one amazing poster but 5 in total! I'm only going to talk about the main one further up but I couldn't write an article on posters and leave out these bad boys! Each one giving an insight into how this was going to be Batman's toughest challenge yet and how the game had changed. Firstly I'm a massive Batman movie geek, I mean SERIOUSLY! Secondly, wow wow wow! I mean we all know the sad part of the whole Dark Knight saga with the untimely death of Heath Ledger. Some say he struggled with entering such a dark place to give us a Joker like never seen before, others say he was just a junkie who got unlucky. Either way we have to thank him for giving us THE iconic comic book villain. Just reading the tagline, "Why So Serious?" sends a chill down my spine. I can hear him saying right now in that croaky voice he found somewhere inside of himself, paying special attention on the "Serious?" part. The eyes look like they've used a coffee cup and a permanent marker pen which to me (and I'm not a psychologist) shows a scatted mind, plotting and thinking always but maybe not fully formed? I don't know! The mouth though looks like the bat sign has been pained on with blood signifying how serious the Batman franchise has just become....and what dark places it will take you.

SPIDER-MAN

On writing about films I've come to realise something, I'm a bit of a fanboy. I mean ANOTHER comic book poster! but the thing is, this one takes me back. Walking through my local shit hole of a cinema, popcorn in my right hand, large coke in the other, I'm making my way to screen 5 when BOOM!!!!! I dropped everything and just stood there in awe.....Spi....Spide.....SPIDER-MANNNNNNNNNNN!!!! I mean in those days I didn't look at movie sites so much I just learnt what was coming out by checking out Apple's Trailer page or by going to the local cinema, but wow to say I was shocked and a little excited was an understatement! I mean come on, there's not even a title just a date....

There he was in all his blue and red glory, throwing up his rock horns, sorry, preparing to shoot his webbing to swing majestically through NYC. I reverted back to being about 5 when I first saw the abomination of the 70's version's of Spidey films and being totally and utterly in love with Spider-Man. I loved what he stood for and by how cool he was, shoot forward 12 years and that love was flowing through me again! I rushed home after the film (Don't ask me what I saw, I really don't remember I was WAY to excited!) and got straight online looking for every last little piece of information I could find. I soon learnt Sam Raimi of Evil Dead was directing (I'd found a crappy VHS copy of Evil Dead 1+2 around 6 months earlier and adored them giving me my other love, Horror!) and found an amazing teaser trailer with lots of little snippets for us fanboys to love (Doc Ock's painting with him named underneath it, a lizard pinbadge) very quickly though, the trailer was removed as the iconic scene at the end had a helicopter suspended in the air by a web in between the Two Towers. As you can understand, the trailers release date was around September of 2001 so it had to go. If you have a search around the internet you will find it, and I do recommend it as it's the type of teaser you long for as there isn't a single shot of Spidey in there!

So that's that for part I of my poster list. I hope, as always, that you've enjoyed the article and let all your friends know about it and get them to come have a look.

VADER OUT!

Those phones work anywhere......

First things first, a round of applause for this poster guys! Does it get any better than this?! Talk about a throwback in Hitchcockian terms, it reminds me so much of the poster for Vertigo.

So, as always lets give you all a quick look at the trailer for this flick and tell me you don't feel the same thing as I did,


Yep, you've got it, DREAD! I mean I'm not claustrophobic, not in the slightest, but man did this mess with my mind!

So let's get to the nitty gritty, it concerns Paul Conroy (a fantastic Ryan Reynolds), a contractor working in Iraq who wakes up in a coffin with a lighter and phone nothing much more. For the next 90+ minutes we we're with him as he makes frantic phone calls to pretty much, the most useless "official" people ever committed to film. I mean they were as much use as a teapot made out of chocolate, yes that useless!

I'm not going to go into much more detail as the film works on so many levels for such a simplistic idea, it's a must see. The fact Reynolds is the only person on screen (apart from a few phone videos) the whole time adds to the emotional weight and throw in the ending which plays all the right strings with you, I challenge you to not like this film!

I've noticed a common theme so far in our early lives together, a lot of the films I've reviewed have been rewarded with high Vader Winks and this one joins that club. Boring I know, but trust me this film is up there with The Shawshank Redemptions of this world, it's THAT good.

5 VADER WINKS!!!

Soooooooooo an update.......

Ok,Ok,Ok I know, yesterday there wasn't a single update nor been any so far today but that's because I have news....

Well not really news what can I say? I've been thinking about where I can go with this blog and how ambitious I can get so here goes.

I know I'll never make any money from this sort of thing, I mean this is just fun for me, a place where I can express my opinions on the one thing I love, Film. I'm not looking to be the next Harry Knowles from AICN, nor one of the experts at ComingSoon, far from it, I'm just me, Mr.Vader! I'm not in "the know", nor do I claim to be (like some we read online!). I just like to share how I feel about the medium of films and I hope so far in our short life of 4 days, that the 88 people who've viewed (so far) what I write have enjoyed themselves. I really don't know how, but I've even had quite a few views from the USA and you honestly can't understand how proud this makes me that my little blog has somehow reached the mecca of movieland!

My aim when I started this was to bring a funny look at films that I love and hate and to try my hand at creating a website, to learn how to code with HTML and in all have a laugh and so far I'm loving it and I hope you all are too.

So onto my plans.......

The first part of my plan is to increase the traffic on here as best I can, I've set up a Twitter and Facebook page which is working so far but I need more people to get on there with me and to spread the word. A plan is in action for this which I'll be setting up in the next few hours, if anyone already following me would like to help please do.

The next part will be looking into contacting a few of the popular sites and asking for ideas and the such, by all means I'm not expecting any help but hopefully they will realise that I'm not in competition with them, far from it, I just would like any feedback on layout, setting up and my writing style. Before anyone asks, I'm not trained in writing nor studied journalism, I'm just looking to have fun.

Following on from there I'm researching the possibilities of starting a podcast and/or maybe a series of videos of me talking about the films I love and hate, maybe getting some special guests in (ok my friends but you get the idea!!)

The final part of my masterplan is to then set up a site with an actual domain, a little piece of the internet I could call my own! As you may or may not have noticed, unlike a lot of the blogs on blogspot, I don't have a single advert as I know hardly anyone ever clicks on them also the fact that as I stated earlier I'm not in this for the money (I mean if any comes along...great haha!, I'm using this as a means to learn and to help me unwind. I do have a real job and a real life but this is my way to get my views across, unlike on a message board where what I may write may just disappear into the dark, murky depths of internet hell!

I've just wrote my first article of hopefully many over at RetroJunk, which I'm hoping can gain me some visitors and some advice on my writing style. I'm always looking to learn as I don't think you can just settle at one thing.
I'm an easy going guy so any advice or criticism is greatly welcomed and I genuinely mean it!! I also hope that you all continue to enjoy my views and carry on visiting me here at The Vader Movie Files!

What I will add is that I'm looking to venture into doing the same thing but for Music and Video Games if my time allows it of course.

I'm also looking if anyone believes they can step up to the plate, to maybe send a few contributions to me and see what we could possibly do? email address is at the bottom of the page under "Contact Us" Or if you have any ideas for my reviews or opinions on one of your favourite films give me a shout!

Onto the good stuff though......

"Like warm apple pie"......

Now I know I'm dealing with another old 'un here but stick with me here ok? In the 80's there was a huge amount of teenage sex comedies that unluckily for me I wasn't old enough to see, so when we finally got "The Porkies of our generation", it would have been rude not to see it no?


Ok so first I apologise for the shitty quality of this trailer, there are better ones on there if you have a look round I promise!
Anyways let's get down to the nitty gritty. 1999 when this hit our screens I was only 14 so had to do my best to seem older to get in, growing a moustache was out of the question as it's something I couldn't do then let alone now either it grows in all redneck style and........going off on a slight tangent then! Me and a few mates decided this was OUR film and after the euphoria of tricking the box office cashier (who did turn into a very good mate) we took our seats on a Saturday night surrounded by 18-20 year olds and couples and settled in for what we could see as the greatest 95 mins of our lives!

And we weren't far wrong, we laughed, we cried and cringed at the exploits of Jim and his friends in their quest to lose their virginities by prom night. The lengths these boys went too inspired us to try the same (it didn't work, we don't have prom nights here in the UK!!) Although, I'll never ever look at a apple pie the same again!!

Of course 2 years later I waited with baited breath as my slow 0.00002mb dial up internet took like 6 hours to download the brand new spanking American Pie 2 trailer!! It then in a flash my net went down and I had to start again.....

Finally 4 days later I got to see the trailer and wow I was blown away again, it looked naughtier, funnier and Jim's Dad (Eugene Levy) seemed to have an even bigger part which excited me no end. I mean come on, we've all known a dad like him but we're all ashamed to admit it when it turns out to be our own father.

Over the years we've been graced with a total of 7 American Pie movies, I mean some are better than others (the original 3 and Beta House for instance) but I can promise you put them in your DVD players and be prepared to have a right good old laugh.


Now I know this is most definitely your collective favourite part of out tour de film, Winking time!!!!

so here we go guys......

4 VADER WINKS!!!!

There that makes you feel miles better doesn't it...almost like warm apple pie does.

DARE you see SAW....well there isn't a park around here so....meh

Well my loyal 5 viewers (yes we have a few now!!), as you'll soon learn I'm a massive horror fan! Nothing much can shock me and sure as hell nothing can scare me. I remember it like it was yesterday, walking to the cinema one cold day in October and seeing a massive billboard poster stating, "DARE YOU SEE SAW?". Well after the initial laughter as that statement I did a little digging and found out it was a brand new, rather low budget horror film set in a bathroom. What can I say I was interested!


WOW 2004?? Shit......

Ahem anyways, so yeah one dark night my interest got the better of me and off I went using my cast pass (I was cheap and worked at the cinema),

"2 Tickets please mate"
"Why you wanna see that shit?"
"It looks great"
"Dare you see SAW? Piss off mate, It aint set in a park!"
"err yeah ok give me the tickets man!"

Yep it had only just been released and it was getting ridiculed (something that still happens). So I sat there and watched and 103 mins later I came out of the small screen bleary eyed and in amazement how such a little film could ask so many questions!
Who's Jigsaw? (don't worry it is answered in the final few mins!!)
Why are they in a bathroom?
and etc etc etc.
But wow it had everything, a story, a twist, great acting, great shots, proper suspense and good deal of dread thrown in! Luckily for me and the rest of us "hardcore Saw-ites" they threw out another 6 films in 6 years which concluded in last years SAW 3D a triumphant return and finish(??) to a classic modern horror series!
You may ask, "6 in 6 years? hmmm" and yes I can see where you're coming from but the fact is the majority of them were great films, and every single one added something to them, a little piece of information you'd have to store away for a year in anticipation for the following October in the hope it would help solve the bigger picture. And in the end it did, it was all worthwhile when leaving the screen in October 2010 with a huge smile on my face, knowing that the series had been done justice and I was right ALL ALONG!!

Honestly try to see it if you haven't, I know you'll be pleasantly surprised, and you never know, you might join us!!

5 VADER WINKS!!!

Such a classic horror film proving you don't need millions and a demon or zombie or a boogeyman to scare people! My last thing on this film is that the music used during the reveal at the end of every film is amazing check it out!

WHAT THE *&%@, IT HAS WINGS?!?!?!?!?!

So just finished watching Splice.....WTF??

NO REALLY WTF?!?!?


So, I have been reading up about Splice for a few years once I heard Del Toro was involved, man what the fuck is going through his head sometimes I dunno. This was seriously one strange film, I mean, don't get me wrong it's got some strong performances from the two leads....but why?? why, why. why man?!? I'm not going to spoil anything, it's not what we do here but ask yourself this question. If a naked mutant with a tail, hind legs and wings kisses you, what would you do? Mr.Brody you made the wrong choice......

2 VADER WINKS!!

Not a bad film but THAT scene takes 1.5 Winks away!!!

"Wax On, Wax Off", Oh Mr.Miyagi you were a wise old fool!

So last week, I bit the proverbial bullet and rented The Karate Kid (2010). I'll admit it now I wasn't expecting anything from this because...

A. It has Will Smith's lad in it.
B. It's set in Japan.
C. It "stars" Jackie Chan.

As we can observe the trailer didn't exactly whet my appetite either


Yes I know the take on the fly with chopsticks bit at the end is funny but come on, HE AINT NO PAT MORITA!!!!!

But guess what fans, The Vader Movie Files can admit when they are wrong and boy were we wrong!! It's funny, heart felt and boy can it be brutal!!

I mean it's pretty much the same as the original with a bit of KK2 thrown in for good measure (well they are both set in Japan so HA!), yes my title is misleading as there's no Wax On, Wax Off but a "pick up jacket, put on jacket" moment which works in exactly the same way! Jaden Smith does fantastic in his role of Dre Parker does a fine job of showing enough emotion to make you feel for him with his new life but is still bad ass enough to show you wouldn't mess with him...EVER! Jackie can be a bit hit and miss in this as he plays, well a bumbling idiot for most of it ( i think he's trying to show an emotional side if i'm honest but we don't pay to see him act, to kick arse!) but when he gets to do his stuff....WOW!!

Without giving too much away make sure you check out the alternate ending because there Jackie does do what he does best!!!

All in all it's our favourite time again, IT'SSSSSSS WINKING TIMEEEEEE!

So for me to summarise not a bad little film at all guys If you like to sit back switch off and watch something that doesn't cause you to think much this is the film for you, a "Sunday night watch" shall we say so....

3.5 VADER WINKS.....well 3 WINK and half a SQUINT but it works all the same!!

Now for something completely different.......

Ok ok I know, our first few films have been 5 Vader Winks and that's not why you're here, you also want to know the films I hate and I mean I did promise I'd tell you and guess what movie fans, now is the time, presenting......

Where to start apart from declaring this film is a huge piece of shit?!? My god I wasn't a fan of the ladies in this before and I sure as hell am not now! As always here's the trailer...


Right after finding the trailer for the 2 of you, I actually found out this was a remake.....I'm guessing that would be just as bad. I mean this is that bad I can't recall anything about the plot other than Meg Ryan gets cheated on and her friends help her come to terms with it. OHHHHH and there isn't a single man in there!!!! NOT ONE! Just female upon female upon female!! I'm not going to dignify talking about this anymore let's just put it this way...

0 VADER WINKS!!

Yes it's THAT bad!

SHOCK!!! 127 Hours only takes a Hour and A Half!!!!

So last Wednesday I dragged my beautiful lady with me to the cinema to see Danny Boyle's latest masterpiece, 127 Hours. I'll be honest fans she didn't want to see it (Orange Wednesday I worship at your altar!!) but nether the less it didn't cost her a penny so off we went. The next 93 mins whizzed by in a flash of blood, piss and rock!
As always I know you guys (ok the 2 of you who read this so far, me being one of them!) love having a trailer to see so here it is.....


So what's it about....Well it's about a guy named Aron Ralston who's a climber and canyoneer who goes off into the mountains of Utah without telling anybody where he is going and guess what? Yep, you got it, he comes into a little bit of trouble by falling and getting his right arm trapped by a boulder!! The rest of the film is about Aron recounting his life, his loves and his inability to connect with his family in his adult years all whilst trying to find a way out of his predicament as his water and food are running out.

Yes I know sounds like it could be a bit boring, but the fact it's based on a true story and has a true master of his craft Danny Boyle at the helm, easily makes this one of the best films I have ever seen and trust me I've seen quite a few!! James Franco is fantastic in the role of Aron as he can easily be someone you want to punch within an inch of their lives before you come to feel sorry for him and you're wishing for him to do the unthinkable and get out (I mean come on Ralston wrote a book on his experience so you know he gets out!!!). Maybe this isn't your cup of tea (some reports of people fainting at screening once Aron does what he has to do with the help of a blunt penknife...), but the shot of Aron stuck with the camera travelling upwards away from him, out of the canyon, above the plains and showing the full extremity of what Aron has got himself into is worth the admission price alone, TRUST ME!!!

All in all it's everyone's favourite time of the post, the Vader Winks and let's be honest I've already called this one of the greatest films I've ever seen so why bother? Because you love it, that's why so here we go drumroll please.....

5 VADER WINKS!!!!

And I'll admit it, my eyes filled up towards the end!!!

"I've seen it, It's Alive, IT'S HUGE"

What a way to start our online life together with a film that everyone knows so much about, yet know nothing!

It all started in July 2007 with a rather, I'll say it, sexual little teaser attached to a little movie called "Transformers". The visual imprint it left in your mind was astounding. No matter what I say nothing can beat watching it so here it is...

"WOW OHMYEFFINGGOD" I can hear you say from here....amazing huh? Well that's all they gave us at the time nothing but the Statue Of Liberty's head on a street, a few explosions and a date 01-18-08 (that's 18th January 2008 to us brits), not really much is it? Ahh but that's where the online community comes into play isn't it? Some bright spark thought about typing in the date whilst adding a good old .com and VOILA we had the first piece of our collective puzzle. Yep at the time it was just a picture but it started something off, something pretty amazing when you think there was probably 10's of 1000's of people coming together to solve this new "game" of sorts. New pictures, fake websites linked into the film, audio clips they came at us thick and fast over the proceeding 6 months or so giving people who were bothered to take part, another insight into the film's back story (well not much is actually explained in the film!).

Well after we finally saw the film more things started to happen, secret audio at the end of the credits, little visual things etc etc etc!! We all have an idea as to what "Clovie" is and where he/she came from but this was thought up in the brain of J.J Abrams for christ's sake, we'll probably never find out, and do you know what I like it like that. Too many things are ruined with us these days with the internet and the such, hence why I'm not even going to give you a rough outline of what this film is about, rent it, buy it do what you need to do but if you want to hark back to the good ol' days of monster movies and B-Movies this is for you.


I'll be honest, I was toying with an idea of a scoring system for the films I "review"(well I wouldn't say I'm reviewing just giving you my thoughts on them,whether I think they're any good, why I do.....oh shit I AM reviewing them....my bad), but I'll be honest I'm new to the whole website thingy so wouldn't have a clue how to give you a decent animated review system so I'll leave you with this....

5 Vader Winks!!!

(5 being the best obviously.....)