Tuesday 1 February 2011

I'm not easily scared but.......

I'm going to let you into a little secret ok? I'm scared of one thing and one thing only.


And no it isn't cute lil Regan here.


And it isn't this colourful freak either (I will admit I can't watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because of him, well I could but I choose not too!)

No my only fear is much stronger than the both of them put together. I have one large collection of DVD's and I'm proud to say only 3 of them have this "thing" that causes cold sweats and sleepless nights.

My problem.....I forgot which one's they were and about 45 mins ago I popped the disc into my player and sat back to enjoy Spider-Man. And then it hit me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, a cold sweat came upon my brow....I shit myself in fact (not literally before any of you ask!). The cause of this....and remember to turn your speakers up full whack.





SEE!!!!! I can't even bare to watch that again, today was the first time in around 4 years I've sat through it, and I'll admit it, I'm proud I didn't grab a pillow and sob uncontrollably into it!

I can hear you all laughing now, I can feel it!! It all comes from being a kid and going to the flicks with my Gran. In fact let's go all misty eyed and have a lovely blue haze cover us as Wayne and Garth come across the screen letting us know we're travelling back to how things were........

DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO, DO LA LA DO.

I was 6. Every Saturday morning without fail me and my Gran would go shopping at like 7am then be at the cinema for 10am to catch that weeks newest kids release. I'll be hones I can't remember which film it was, but I'm sat there with the sweets we'd bought from the market, me with my sports mixture, her with her bloody toasted teacake coconut thingy's.....anyways, we'd bought a small popcorn and I'm sat there checking out the trailers. The screen fades to black as the final runway lights go out to get us ready for the feature presentation and then it happened.

The certification screen came on.......

Nothing I know so I still sat there all excited and then it started, THAT video. The lightning strikes, the rocks come into view as the helicopter comes overhead and then the worst moment, when in a quite empty cinema and the stereo system pumped up to full, the guitar was struck.

BEEEEEEEEEEEIEENENEINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Well the sports mixture went 15ft into the air and I screamed. Not just a yelp but a full blown scream.

I felt the tears start to roll down my cheeks as the most chilling sound came into my ears, that little chinking noise to show how amazing the stereo was in the screen. It surround my head in an instant and sent me flying out of my seat, down the aisle and out of the door past the usher who was stood taking tickets.

Yes keep laughing, it's what I'm here to do! Anyways I was finally tempted back into my seat by my Gran who'd, after consoling me, bought me a HUGE tub of popcorn. But the scars remained.....

Even at the age of 14 when me and my mates used to think we were cool getting into 15 films and the occasional 18, when that came on before the film, I used to ram my fingers as deep into my ear as they could go much to the amusement of my friends. The only problem then as sitting eating popcorn whilst not trying to get earwax on it! (Ok I made that last bit up, I washed my hands first!)

Well again, this one's a little bit different from my usual articles, but I'm hoping you all still enjoyed a little insight into my movie going life. Next up will be my list of the 10 greatest horror films of all time!

Oh and catch you on the flipside Vaderites! (haha you even have a nickname from me now!!!)

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