Monday 31 January 2011

Comic. Book. Film?? Put it back on the rack and walk away.....Slowly...PART 1

You'll probably know (I'm pretty sure I told you), I'm a massive fan of Comic Book films. What can I say? I haven't grown up yet, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be starting soon. There's many classics out there (Superman, Spider-Man, X Men), but there's a hell of a lot of shit ones, and guess what kiddies we're talking about them right now!!!

SPAWN

Oh Jesus, where to begin, I know, the beginning!! So, Spawn was created by Todd McFarlane back in 1992 after McFarlane left Marvel to set up his own comic. McFarlane helped to, or created as to who you listen too, Venom. Spawn was once upon a time Al Simmons, a CIA operative murdered by his boss, and whilst in Hell offered the chance to gain vengeance by leading the devils army of Hellspawn...still with me? Blah Blah Blah, anyways, due to this creation McFarlane has made a great living by creating such a fantastic character, so primed for a fantastic movie adaptation yes??


BUZZZZZZZZZ WRONG

Oh my lord where do I start? The dodgy CGI? The terrible acting? The seriously shameful dialogue? Let's study all 3 shall we, after you burn your eyes with the trailer of course......


Man, where you want me to start? CGI it is then. Look how Spawn falls through that green...green.....yeah I dunno either. Stand in awe as those chains thrust at the screen like a horny 17 year old after his first alcohol session. And the cape.....oh god the cape. This might not be anything to do with the CGI but also check out the shitty religious undertone with Spawn seemingly crucified upon a gate....

Then there's the acting, damn Martin Sheen, it took him years to regain any cred after some of his film choices, this being one of his best, ok sorry worst choices and he's been in some shit! And that Clown....my god it's....it's JOHN LEGUIZAMO. You know John Leguizamo don't you? No?? Are you sure?? Come on, this guy...
Recognize him? He was in Romeo and Juliet? Ohhhhhh wait a minute you'll know him cos his annoying voice is in the Ice Age trilogy. Oh and he was in The Happening as well, you guys must remember that one, you know with the killer plants? No? ahh well he plays this guy in Spawn.

MMM sexy huh?

Ahh yes my favourite part of this whole thing, the dialogue. how can you not adore a film with such tasty lines as, are you ready for this?? Honestly??

“Get away from me, you fudge packing midget!”

I rest my case your honour, I rest my case.....


 BATMAN AND ROBIN

Ahh Batman, trusty Dark Knight can you do no wrong? Oh wait, yes you can with this pile of steaming crap. The film looked promising, what with Robin being introduced pretty well in the previous installment and Arnie coming in as a villain, what is there not to love? Well this for starters
Where's the air of mystery? Let's just throw out that Alicia Silverstone becomes Batgirl. Let's show Arnie as Freeze and Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy.....Marketing Guys 1 General Public 0!!! Oh and there is the fact it's acted like this.




I'll be honest, there isn't much more that I can add to this....oh yes I can.....


They put NIPPLES on the batsuit, yes NIPPLES!!!!!!!!

That's all for tonight, but don't worry this will be finished soon enough....

In the way of the comic book films.....

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Dinner For Schmucks? Tea For Dicks more like.......




I did it

I sat through yet another Steve Carell film that I just didn't find as hilarious as people like to make out. Maybe it's just me but I don't get it....I'll admit I don't mind watching The Office with him in it but almost everything else....no thanks! As always guys and gals here's the trailer.


Don't worry, I'm not gonna spend the next 200 words (nobody count please!!!) bashing him as sometimes, for example Anchorman, they guy is funny but the majority of the time....UGHHHH.

Let's get onto why we are here though, the film itself. Yes, as I said, I didn't find it piss yourself wet through whilst screaming like a hyena hilarious, but there are certain parts that had me laughing. Anything involving stuffed animals will get a titter out of you, that I promise. Another saving grace of the film is Paul Rudd. This guy has constantly put in great performances in everything from his stint in "Friends", through to "I Love You, Man". He's the everyman character that you just can't seem to not like. Even in this where you feel you really shouldn't like him, his personality shines through and by the end, you'll be on his side.

The bad parts....man David Walliams. Little Britain isn't too bad but jeez everytime he was on screen I wanted to smack living bejesus outta him! And Lucy Punch........damn, the name suits her. How anyone could cast her in the role of a sex mad "hottie" I would never know. Look at her.....
Her name suggests that somebody probably did punch her, quite a few times.

Ok,Ok, I know, a tiny bit harsh as she's not that bad an actress and I guess on second look at her in the film....
She's not that bad, and if the picture she sends in the film is hers, well I'll take it all back!!!!

Anyways everyone's favourite part of the blog, the wink time. Like I've said not a great film, but not a bad one either so on that note I'll award "Dinner For Schmucks"

2 VADER WINKS!!!!

And one of those is just because Paul Rudd is involved!

Afternoon Ladies and Gents....

Ok, ok, ok I know and I apologise, It's been ages since I last posted. I wish I had an excuse for you and I do, but it's been a hard time for myself and my family this past 2 weeks but everything is great again, so you know what this means........

MORE POSTS!!!!!



Yes, I hear you cry in excitement, trust me I've got some great and some seriously terrible films to tell you all about, and I'm hoping, some BIG BIG news as well.


I'd also like to thank everybody who's been spreading the word about the site, I mean when I last did anything on here we were on about 120 views and somehow we've shot up to almost 300, with views coming from as far away as Singapore and Serbia, so seriously Thanks!!!

So as from today, we're back in the swing of things and there will be a few posts tonight that I promise you!

Monday 17 January 2011

Is it Art or Marketing? Either way it ROCKS!

So I'm sat here putting off sitting through "Dinner For Schmucks" and after posting the previous article and noticing how cool the poster for Buried is, it hit me....

No, not the light fitting from above but an idea. An idea to show you what I consider to be some of the greatest posters from the modern era. Maybe this is the start of me moving slowly away from the opinionated drivel I've been posting the last 5 days, who knows but let's try it. I mean, it could become a regular thing? Who knows? So with that let me present to you

VADER'S FAVOURITE POSTERS OF THE PAST 11 YEARS!!!!! PART I


To start with let's have a look at the poster from our previous post.


BURIED

Now, on first glances this is a complete throwback to something from the 60's. As noted in the previous article, I called it very "Hitcockian" and I'm right. Based on the design of the "Vertigo" poster by the poster creating God known as Saul Bass, this is as simplistic as it can come (also like the film really!). It get's to the point, it gives you an idea what the film will be about and gets you interested. The tagline, "Paul Conroy Isn't Ready To Die" fills you with dread, indicating that this is going to be a race against time.

Second on our list is also a poster from a previous article....

CLOVERFIELD

Well doesn't this one just get you interested right away. The initial thing you're drawn too is the fact that the Statue Of Liberty is missing her head! Anyone who's seen the original teaser trailer(Click Here for the trailer with my original review) will know the grisly end bestowed upon her. Bouncing down the street without a care in the world..... Also take a look at the ripple effect in the water, what could have caused that? Whatever it is, it's caused a huge hole in the skyline of New York. Many people were outraged with this poster as well as the film with the comparisons to 9/11 which personally is a bit silly, I mean what else could a monster do when attacking a city? Tip-Toe through? And check that tagline out, "Some Thing Has Found Us", well from the look of it I'd say yep it has, and it aint happy!! As for what it is, join the rest of us.....


THE DARK KNIGHT





The thing is though, Christopher Nolan ruined us by producing not just one amazing poster but 5 in total! I'm only going to talk about the main one further up but I couldn't write an article on posters and leave out these bad boys! Each one giving an insight into how this was going to be Batman's toughest challenge yet and how the game had changed. Firstly I'm a massive Batman movie geek, I mean SERIOUSLY! Secondly, wow wow wow! I mean we all know the sad part of the whole Dark Knight saga with the untimely death of Heath Ledger. Some say he struggled with entering such a dark place to give us a Joker like never seen before, others say he was just a junkie who got unlucky. Either way we have to thank him for giving us THE iconic comic book villain. Just reading the tagline, "Why So Serious?" sends a chill down my spine. I can hear him saying right now in that croaky voice he found somewhere inside of himself, paying special attention on the "Serious?" part. The eyes look like they've used a coffee cup and a permanent marker pen which to me (and I'm not a psychologist) shows a scatted mind, plotting and thinking always but maybe not fully formed? I don't know! The mouth though looks like the bat sign has been pained on with blood signifying how serious the Batman franchise has just become....and what dark places it will take you.


SPIDER-MAN

On writing about films I've come to realise something, I'm a bit of a fanboy. I mean ANOTHER comic book poster! but the thing is, this one takes me back. Walking through my local shit hole of a cinema, popcorn in my right hand, large coke in the other, I'm making my way to screen 5 when BOOM!!!!! I dropped everything and just stood there in awe.....Spi....Spide.....SPIDER-MANNNNNNNNNNN!!!! I mean in those days I didn't look at movie sites so much I just learnt what was coming out by checking out Apple's Trailer page or by going to the local cinema, but wow to say I was shocked and a little excited was an understatement! I mean come on, there's not even a title just a date....

There he was in all his blue and red glory, throwing up his rock horns, sorry, preparing to shoot his webbing to swing majestically through NYC. I reverted back to being about 5 when I first saw the abomination of the 70's version's of Spidey films and being totally and utterly in love with Spider-Man. I loved what he stood for and by how cool he was, shoot forward 12 years and that love was flowing through me again! I rushed home after the film (Don't ask me what I saw, I really don't remember I was WAY to excited!) and got straight online looking for every last little piece of information I could find. I soon learnt Sam Raimi of Evil Dead was directing (I'd found a crappy VHS copy of Evil Dead 1+2 around 6 months earlier and adored them giving me my other love, Horror!) and found an amazing teaser trailer with lots of little snippets for us fanboys to love (Doc Ock's painting with him named underneath it, a lizard pinbadge) very quickly though, the trailer was removed as the iconic scene at the end had a helicopter suspended in the air by a web in between the Two Towers. As you can understand, the trailers release date was around September of 2001 so it had to go. If you have a search around the internet you will find it, and I do recommend it as it's the type of teaser you long for as there isn't a single shot of Spidey in there!

So that's that for part I of my poster list. I hope, as always, that you've enjoyed the article and let all your friends know about it and get them to come have a look.

VADER OUT!







Those phones work anywhere......


First things first, a round of applause for this poster guys! Does it get any better than this?! Talk about a throwback in Hitchcockian terms, it reminds me so much of the poster for Vertigo.

So, as always lets give you all a quick look at the trailer for this flick and tell me you don't feel the same thing as I did,


Yep, you've got it, DREAD! I mean I'm not claustrophobic, not in the slightest, but man did this mess with my mind!

So let's get to the nitty gritty, it concerns Paul Conroy (a fantastic Ryan Reynolds), a contractor working in Iraq who wakes up in a coffin with a lighter and phone nothing much more. For the next 90+ minutes we we're with him as he makes frantic phone calls to pretty much, the most useless "official" people ever committed to film. I mean they were as much use as a teapot made out of chocolate, yes that useless!

I'm not going to go into much more detail as the film works on so many levels for such a simplistic idea, it's a must see. The fact Reynolds is the only person on screen (apart from a few phone videos) the whole time adds to the emotional weight and throw in the ending which plays all the right strings with you, I challenge you to not like this film!

I've noticed a common theme so far in our early lives together, a lot of the films I've reviewed have been rewarded with high Vader Winks and this one joins that club. Boring I know, but trust me this film is up there with The Shawshank Redemptions of this world, it's THAT good.

5 VADER WINKS!!!

Sunday 16 January 2011

Soooooooooo an update.......

Ok,Ok,Ok I know, yesterday there wasn't a single update nor been any so far today but that's because I have news....

Well not really news what can I say? I've been thinking about where I can go with this blog and how ambitious I can get so here goes.

I know I'll never make any money from this sort of thing, I mean this is just fun for me, a place where I can express my opinions on the one thing I love, Film. I'm not looking to be the next Harry Knowles from AICN, nor one of the experts at ComingSoon, far from it, I'm just me, Mr.Vader! I'm not in "the know", nor do I claim to be (like some we read online!). I just like to share how I feel about the medium of films and I hope so far in our short life of 4 days, that the 88 people who've viewed (so far) what I write have enjoyed themselves. I really don't know how, but I've even had quite a few views from the USA and you honestly can't understand how proud this makes me that my little blog has somehow reached the mecca of movieland!

My aim when I started this was to bring a funny look at films that I love and hate and to try my hand at creating a website, to learn how to code with HTML and in all have a laugh and so far I'm loving it and I hope you all are too.

So onto my plans.......

The first part of my plan is to increase the traffic on here as best I can, I've set up a Twitter and Facebook page which is working so far but I need more people to get on there with me and to spread the word. A plan is in action for this which I'll be setting up in the next few hours, if anyone already following me would like to help please do.

The next part will be looking into contacting a few of the popular sites and asking for ideas and the such, by all means I'm not expecting any help but hopefully they will realise that I'm not in competition with them, far from it, I just would like any feedback on layout, setting up and my writing style. Before anyone asks, I'm not trained in writing nor studied journalism, I'm just looking to have fun.

Following on from there I'm researching the possibilities of starting a podcast and/or maybe a series of videos of me talking about the films I love and hate, maybe getting some special guests in (ok my friends but you get the idea!!)

The final part of my masterplan is to then set up a site with an actual domain, a little piece of the internet I could call my own! As you may or may not have noticed, unlike a lot of the blogs on blogspot, I don't have a single advert as I know hardly anyone ever clicks on them also the fact that as I stated earlier I'm not in this for the money (I mean if any comes along...great haha!, I'm using this as a means to learn and to help me unwind. I do have a real job and a real life but this is my way to get my views across, unlike on a message board where what I may write may just disappear into the dark, murky depths of internet hell!

I've just wrote my first article of hopefully many over at RetroJunk, which I'm hoping can gain me some visitors and some advice on my writing style. I'm always looking to learn as I don't think you can just settle at one thing.
I'm an easy going guy so any advice or criticism is greatly welcomed and I genuinely mean it!! I also hope that you all continue to enjoy my views and carry on visiting me here at The Vader Movie Files!

What I will add is that I'm looking to venture into doing the same thing but for Music and Video Games if my time allows it of course.

I'm also looking if anyone believes they can step up to the plate, to maybe send a few contributions to me and see what we could possibly do? email address is at the bottom of the page under "Contact Us" Or if you have any ideas for my reviews or opinions on one of your favourite films give me a shout!

Onto the good stuff though......

Friday 14 January 2011

"Like warm apple pie"......


Now I know I'm dealing with another old 'un here but stick with me here ok? In the 80's there was a huge amount of teenage sex comedies that unluckily for me I wasn't old enough to see, so when we finally got "The Porkies of our generation", it would have been rude not to see it no?


Ok so first I apologise for the shitty quality of this trailer, there are better ones on there if you have a look round I promise!
Anyways let's get down to the nitty gritty. 1999 when this hit our screens I was only 14 so had to do my best to seem older to get in, growing a moustache was out of the question as it's something I couldn't do then let alone now either it grows in all redneck style and........going off on a slight tangent then! Me and a few mates decided this was OUR film and after the euphoria of tricking the box office cashier (who did turn into a very good mate) we took our seats on a Saturday night surrounded by 18-20 year olds and couples and settled in for what we could see as the greatest 95 mins of our lives!

And we weren't far wrong, we laughed, we cried and cringed at the exploits of Jim and his friends in their quest to lose their virginities by prom night. The lengths these boys went too inspired us to try the same (it didn't work, we don't have prom nights here in the UK!!) Although, I'll never ever look at a apple pie the same again!!

Of course 2 years later I waited with baited breath as my slow 0.00002mb dial up internet took like 6 hours to download the brand new spanking American Pie 2 trailer!! It then in a flash my net went down and I had to start again.....

Finally 4 days later I got to see the trailer and wow I was blown away again, it looked naughtier, funnier and Jim's Dad (Eugene Levy) seemed to have an even bigger part which excited me no end. I mean come on, we've all known a dad like him but we're all ashamed to admit it when it turns out to be our own father.

Over the years we've been graced with a total of 7 American Pie movies, I mean some are better than others (the original 3 and Beta House for instance) but I can promise you put them in your DVD players and be prepared to have a right good old laugh.


Now I know this is most definitely your collective favourite part of out tour de film, Winking time!!!!

so here we go guys......

4 VADER WINKS!!!!

There that makes you feel miles better doesn't it...almost like warm apple pie does.

DARE you see SAW....well there isn't a park around here so....meh


Well my loyal 5 viewers (yes we have a few now!!), as you'll soon learn I'm a massive horror fan! Nothing much can shock me and sure as hell nothing can scare me. I remember it like it was yesterday, walking to the cinema one cold day in October and seeing a massive billboard poster stating, "DARE YOU SEE SAW?". Well after the initial laughter as that statement I did a little digging and found out it was a brand new, rather low budget horror film set in a bathroom. What can I say I was interested!


WOW 2004?? Shit......

Ahem anyways, so yeah one dark night my interest got the better of me and off I went using my cast pass (I was cheap and worked at the cinema),

"2 Tickets please mate"
"Why you wanna see that shit?"
"It looks great"
"Dare you see SAW? Piss off mate, It aint set in a park!"
"err yeah ok give me the tickets man!"

Yep it had only just been released and it was getting ridiculed (something that still happens). So I sat there and watched and 103 mins later I came out of the small screen bleary eyed and in amazement how such a little film could ask so many questions!
Who's Jigsaw? (don't worry it is answered in the final few mins!!)
Why are they in a bathroom?
and etc etc etc.
But wow it had everything, a story, a twist, great acting, great shots, proper suspense and good deal of dread thrown in! Luckily for me and the rest of us "hardcore Saw-ites" they threw out another 6 films in 6 years which concluded in last years SAW 3D a triumphant return and finish(??) to a classic modern horror series!
You may ask, "6 in 6 years? hmmm" and yes I can see where you're coming from but the fact is the majority of them were great films, and every single one added something to them, a little piece of information you'd have to store away for a year in anticipation for the following October in the hope it would help solve the bigger picture. And in the end it did, it was all worthwhile when leaving the screen in October 2010 with a huge smile on my face, knowing that the series had been done justice and I was right ALL ALONG!!

Honestly try to see it if you haven't, I know you'll be pleasantly surprised, and you never know, you might join us!!

5 VADER WINKS!!!

Such a classic horror film proving you don't need millions and a demon or zombie or a boogeyman to scare people! My last thing on this film is that the music used during the reveal at the end of every film is amazing check it out!

WHAT THE *&%@, IT HAS WINGS?!?!?!?!?!


So just finished watching Splice.....WTF??

NO REALLY WTF?!?!?


So, I have been reading up about Splice for a few years once I heard Del Toro was involved, man what the fuck is going through his head sometimes I dunno. This was seriously one strange film, I mean, don't get me wrong it's got some strong performances from the two leads....but why?? why, why. why man?!? I'm not going to spoil anything, it's not what we do here but ask yourself this question. If a naked mutant with a tail, hind legs and wings kisses you, what would you do? Mr.Brody you made the wrong choice......

2 VADER WINKS!!

Not a bad film but THAT scene takes 1.5 Winks away!!!

"Wax On, Wax Off", Oh Mr.Miyagi you were a wise old fool!


So last week, I bit the proverbial bullet and rented The Karate Kid (2010). I'll admit it now I wasn't expecting anything from this because...

A. It has Will Smith's lad in it.
B. It's set in Japan.
C. It "stars" Jackie Chan.

As we can observe the trailer didn't exactly whet my appetite either


Yes I know the take on the fly with chopsticks bit at the end is funny but come on, HE AINT NO PAT MORITA!!!!!

But guess what fans, The Vader Movie Files can admit when they are wrong and boy were we wrong!! It's funny, heart felt and boy can it be brutal!!

I mean it's pretty much the same as the original with a bit of KK2 thrown in for good measure (well they are both set in Japan so HA!), yes my title is misleading as there's no Wax On, Wax Off but a "pick up jacket, put on jacket" moment which works in exactly the same way! Jaden Smith does fantastic in his role of Dre Parker does a fine job of showing enough emotion to make you feel for him with his new life but is still bad ass enough to show you wouldn't mess with him...EVER! Jackie can be a bit hit and miss in this as he plays, well a bumbling idiot for most of it ( i think he's trying to show an emotional side if i'm honest but we don't pay to see him act, to kick arse!) but when he gets to do his stuff....WOW!!

Without giving too much away make sure you check out the alternate ending because there Jackie does do what he does best!!!

All in all it's our favourite time again, IT'SSSSSSS WINKING TIMEEEEEE!

So for me to summarise not a bad little film at all guys If you like to sit back switch off and watch something that doesn't cause you to think much this is the film for you, a "Sunday night watch" shall we say so....

3.5 VADER WINKS.....well 3 WINK and half a SQUINT but it works all the same!!

Thursday 13 January 2011

The Question of a Trilogy

So, I'm sat here watching the end of Back To The Future 3 and I started pondering about the real "good" trilogies of the world and I started to make a mental list. The usual one's came straight to mind your Godfathers etc. But what about the bad ones? You know the real stinking ones, not just maybe part 2 but I'm talking all 3. Now that's just a little bit harder!

Recent history suggests that Spiderman falls into that category after the abomination Sam Raimi served up with Spiderman 3 and his "Venom"
But how the hell can we ever forget Spiderman 1 + 2?? That's where Sam showed us the Spiderman we've been yearning for years to see up on the big screen and what do they do? Reboot the fucking thing with Andrew Garfield in Parker's cheap shoes! Ok Ok yes the first official picture came out today and apart from the man looking like he's dressed in latex (Spiderman : Revenge of the Sinister Six (Inch Dildo) anyone?) and a pretty wonky spider on his chest it looks pretty cool.

AHHH but I hear you say, "What about Indiana Jones?". Ok so the trilogy is fantastic but are we forgetting about Indy and something about crystal skulls? Yep kids that makes it a quadrilogy so nope not counted!

What about Jackass? Yep after last years Jackass 3D we got a trilogy out of those mad yank bastards (I'll admit it, I'm a fan of Knoxville!). But could we ever be able to use Jackass in anything other than an example of a "bad" trilogy as let's be honest it has a certain fanbase.
Naked guys puking on each other anyone?!!?

If anyone can think of a truly "great" trilogy let me know as I aint found one yet without at least one flaw!!!

The Social Network(s)

I've joined the digital age.....well I'm already in what with me having my own blog and such....but alas here it is....

I'm on Twitter and Facebook!!!

If you look to the right you'll see my twitter feed with a lovely little "follow me" button, make sure you do! As for facebook, ugh I don't know what I'm doing but you never know might get some followers out of it! The Facebook Account

Now for something completely different.......

Ok ok I know, our first few films have been 5 Vader Winks and that's not why you're here, you also want to know the films I hate and I mean I did promise I'd tell you and guess what movie fans, now is the time, presenting......

Where to start apart from declaring this film is a huge piece of shit?!? My god I wasn't a fan of the ladies in this before and I sure as hell am not now! As always here's the trailer...


Right after finding the trailer for the 2 of you, I actually found out this was a remake.....I'm guessing that would be just as bad. I mean this is that bad I can't recall anything about the plot other than Meg Ryan gets cheated on and her friends help her come to terms with it. OHHHHH and there isn't a single man in there!!!! NOT ONE! Just female upon female upon female!! I'm not going to dignify talking about this anymore let's just put it this way...

0 VADER WINKS!!

Yes it's THAT bad!

SHOCK!!! 127 Hours only takes a Hour and A Half!!!!


So last Wednesday I dragged my beautiful lady with me to the cinema to see Danny Boyle's latest masterpiece, 127 Hours. I'll be honest fans she didn't want to see it (Orange Wednesday I worship at your altar!!) but nether the less it didn't cost her a penny so off we went. The next 93 mins whizzed by in a flash of blood, piss and rock!
As always I know you guys (ok the 2 of you who read this so far, me being one of them!) love having a trailer to see so here it is.....


So what's it about....Well it's about a guy named Aron Ralston who's a climber and canyoneer who goes off into the mountains of Utah without telling anybody where he is going and guess what? Yep, you got it, he comes into a little bit of trouble by falling and getting his right arm trapped by a boulder!! The rest of the film is about Aron recounting his life, his loves and his inability to connect with his family in his adult years all whilst trying to find a way out of his predicament as his water and food are running out.

Yes I know sounds like it could be a bit boring, but the fact it's based on a true story and has a true master of his craft Danny Boyle at the helm, easily makes this one of the best films I have ever seen and trust me I've seen quite a few!! James Franco is fantastic in the role of Aron as he can easily be someone you want to punch within an inch of their lives before you come to feel sorry for him and you're wishing for him to do the unthinkable and get out (I mean come on Ralston wrote a book on his experience so you know he gets out!!!). Maybe this isn't your cup of tea (some reports of people fainting at screening once Aron does what he has to do with the help of a blunt penknife...), but the shot of Aron stuck with the camera travelling upwards away from him, out of the canyon, above the plains and showing the full extremity of what Aron has got himself into is worth the admission price alone, TRUST ME!!!

All in all it's everyone's favourite time of the post, the Vader Winks and let's be honest I've already called this one of the greatest films I've ever seen so why bother? Because you love it, that's why so here we go drumroll please.....

5 VADER WINKS!!!!

And I'll admit it, my eyes filled up towards the end!!!

"I've seen it, It's Alive, IT'S HUGE"

What a way to start our online life together with a film that everyone knows so much about, yet know nothing!

It all started in July 2007 with a rather, I'll say it, sexual little teaser attached to a little movie called "Transformers". The visual imprint it left in your mind was astounding. No matter what I say nothing can beat watching it so here it is...

"WOW OHMYEFFINGGOD" I can hear you say from here....amazing huh? Well that's all they gave us at the time nothing but the Statue Of Liberty's head on a street, a few explosions and a date 01-18-08 (that's 18th January 2008 to us brits), not really much is it? Ahh but that's where the online community comes into play isn't it? Some bright spark thought about typing in the date whilst adding a good old .com and VOILA we had the first piece of our collective puzzle. Yep at the time it was just a picture but it started something off, something pretty amazing when you think there was probably 10's of 1000's of people coming together to solve this new "game" of sorts. New pictures, fake websites linked into the film, audio clips they came at us thick and fast over the proceeding 6 months or so giving people who were bothered to take part, another insight into the film's back story (well not much is actually explained in the film!).

Well after we finally saw the film more things started to happen, secret audio at the end of the credits, little visual things etc etc etc!! We all have an idea as to what "Clovie" is and where he/she came from but this was thought up in the brain of J.J Abrams for christ's sake, we'll probably never find out, and do you know what I like it like that. Too many things are ruined with us these days with the internet and the such, hence why I'm not even going to give you a rough outline of what this film is about, rent it, buy it do what you need to do but if you want to hark back to the good ol' days of monster movies and B-Movies this is for you.


I'll be honest, I was toying with an idea of a scoring system for the films I "review"(well I wouldn't say I'm reviewing just giving you my thoughts on them,whether I think they're any good, why I do.....oh shit I AM reviewing them....my bad), but I'll be honest I'm new to the whole website thingy so wouldn't have a clue how to give you a decent animated review system so I'll leave you with this....

5 Vader Winks!!!

(5 being the best obviously.....)

This is the start of something beautiful........

Well what can I say, (not like anyone will be reading this...Just yet!!) I've taken the plunge. This is my blog about film. Not just any old film, oh no, this is about the films I've seen, the films I want to see, the films I love, the films not even made yet and of course the films I hate!! Contrary to the name, this isn't about "Star Wars" as to be honest I'm not a fan, it's just a nickname. In fact it's based on this guy Big Van Vader of WCW/WWF fame, here's a picture for you because I know you'd love that



Anyway, enough of the mindless chatter to nobody let's get this show on the road with our first post and our subject being.....CLOVERFIELD!!!